A few years ago it seemed my career was really flourishing. The career I never expected to have. As I’ve said on my other blog I never wanted to do anything but make and raise babies, much to the chagrin of my lovely journalism teacher, Ms. Gregg. She plucked me out of obscurity when I was just a sophomore in high school after I wrote a rebuttal to an op/ed in the school paper. Ms. Gregg was completely opposed to my viewpoint but she respected the way I expressed myself and asked me to join her journalism class. Journalism? What’s that? Little did I know I was embarking on a lifelong love affair with story telling. Sometimes the stories are my own, sometimes they belong to other people. I cannot thank this woman enough times for showing me my voice, and pointing the way to my calling.
I didn’t do what was expected. Every other kid in class was discussing the magazines they wanted to work for, the colleges they wanted to attend. Family was secondary, if ever thought of. Something to pursue after they fulfilled their dreams. For me, family WAS the dream. It was only when the babies came and I still felt like there was something missing that I began to think hey, maybe I could do TWO things.
I had lunch with Ms. Gregg and I FORGOT MY WALLET, I swear to you. She paid, and she gave me good advice. She helped me get set up with Linda Negro at the Evansville Courier Press, and that got me started into freelance writing. Before I knew it I was literally steeped with writing jobs. Then the pace quickened even more, and I was in the running for a job managing a mothering website. A dream job. I didn’t get the job, but I was hired to work under the woman, who was another previous mentor of mine!
Around this time I became friends with a woman whose writing I really respected and who was fairly famous. She certainly had a very loyal fan base and to be counted in her close circle was indescribable to me. I felt…unstoppable. A force of nature.
Until everything stopped.
The job at the website went sour. My boss stepped down, and when I tried to step into her place I was viciously shot down by people who felt I was, in all honesty, too popular. Too influential. An unconventional person being popular and influential can be terrifying to the wrong people. I was working with just such people.
I had left two other writing jobs to focus on my work at the web site. At least I could still count on my job at the paper! But then my editor left…the editor who had groomed me for a year, encouraged me and had given me lots of work. Who really believed in me, even believed I could run a website! I was handed over to a new editor but she proved to be difficult and unreliable. She promised me work, but no matter how often I called or met with her she would never deliver.
Then my friendship with my writer friend went VERY sour. There were terrible misunderstandings, a lot of foolishness on both of our ends, and poof! A relationship I had spent a year cultivating was gone. In the blink of an eye. Devastated could hardly be the word. I was addicted to her poison, and I went through major withdrawals without it.
I sat in the van with my mother, feeling despondent. Everything had been going so well and now it was all gone. My career was stalled, my friendship ruined. “I just wish I knew what God was trying to tell me.”
The next day he told me.
In the form of a positive pregnancy test.